I Read a Book About Not Feeling
A story about numbness felt unexpectedly alive + Jan notes
I’ve been collecting things this month—moments, thoughts, art, words—that felt worth holding onto.
Some shifted something in me. Others just felt good to discover. All of them are things I wanted to share with you.
Here’s what January brought my way.
A Book That Stayed With Me: Almond
I just finished reading Almond and I’m still thinking about it days later.
It’s about a boy named Yunjae who can’t feel emotions—not happiness, not love, not fear, not anger. Nothing. Two tiny almond-shaped neurons in his brain never developed properly, and because of this, he doesn’t have friends. He doesn’t understand why people cry or laugh or get upset. But his mother and grandmother love him fiercely anyway, building a world where his difference doesn’t make him less.
Then on Christmas Eve—his sixteenth birthday—everything shatters. A shocking act of changes his life completely, leaving him alone and trying to navigate a world he’s never quite understood.
This book kept me on edge, made me gasp out loud, broke my heart a little, and somehow made me fall in love with these characters. It’s about what it means to be human when you experience humanity differently. It’s tender and devastating and hopeful all at once.
If you’re looking for something that will make you feel deeply, this is it.
Things I’m Thinking About Lately
Why did women have to fight so hard in the first place? What is it about being a woman that threatens people so much? I keep circling back to this question, and this article gave me a small glimpse into its origins.
At the end of the day, we all turn to dust. And before that, we were made from stardust. Isn’t that the most beautiful thing? We come from stars and return to earth. There’s something comforting in that.
Your perception filters every experience, so much of your suffering arises from how you interpret events rather than the events themselves. For instance, Buddhist teachings distinguish the “first arrow” of unavoidable pain (like illness or loss) from the “second arrow” of self-inflicted suffering through resistance, attachment, or negative framing. You bear responsibility for that second layer by choosing your mental response.
When you're an adult, there's always work waiting. Always. The to-do list never actually ends. I'm still learning how to be okay with that. And maybe the real question isn't how to make it stop, but whether I'm going to approach it with love or resentment. That choice, at least, is mine. But how do I actually choose love when I'm exhausted? I'm still figuring that out.
What makes us stop being curious? Kids ask “why?” about everything. When did we learn to stop asking? And how do we get that back?
James. (2012, June 30). Cat Thinking Bubble. Pinterest. https://pin.it/2xAwPD2vq
Things I Loved on the Internet This Week
This video —a small remainder about: no matter how small, invaluable or different you think you are, there is always a special place in this world, just for you.
Designing the Powerpuff Girls — Did you know the Powerpuff Girls was inititally named as Whoopass Girls?
This article is a fascinating deep dive into the design process behind one of the most iconic animated shows. I loved discovering how many iterations it took to perfect The Powerpuff Girls. It's clear proof that success often hinges on the right person meeting the right moment. So don't give up—persistence unlocks the magic.
Work that pulled me in
Ali Cherri reflects on how these earth-derived structures, meant to sustain "world-sustaining relations" (per Lauren Berlant), instead eradicate life-forms and ecosystems. The work captures a metamorphic tension between creation and annihilation, blending organic fragility with imposed monumentality.
That’s what January looked like for me. What about you? What made you pause this month? What questions are you sitting with? I’d love to hear what’s been on your mind.
Thanks for reading through my little collection. I hope something here sparked something in you too.